Nisha was 26, a software developer and quite a popular girl in her firm.
She had just ended her 5 year old relationship with her college boyfriend. She was emotionally hurt and was a mess. She gave her 100 % to the relationship and now there is nothing. She was upset beyond description. Her parents, being her well wishers, tried their best to help her. They took her on a holiday and decided on getting her married. They believed a fresh start and a new relationship will heal her.
Were they wrong?
Did it really helped Nisha?
Nisha, got to know that her ex- boy friend is now married!
She was angry, frustrated and felt like her world has come to an end. She now doesn’t believed in the powerful institution of love. All she wanted was to take revenge and prove her ex that she was no less desirable. She agreed to marry the guy her parents chose.
Nisha’s husband, Akash was a gentleman . Nisha also shared her past with him and he was very understanding. He showered her with lot of love and care. Over time, he fell in love with his beautiful young wife.
What about Nisha? Was she reciprocating the love and being true to their marriage?
Akash was often taken aback by her mood swings and unnecessary anger. He was unable to find reasons for this behavior. He always felt she was a very mature, calm and strong woman but there were times when she was angry, aggressive, irrational and violent for no actual reason. This went on for a while and it left Akash confused and depressed.
Two years later, Nisha and Akash were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, Aisha. Nisha’s flaky behavior still continued and was affecting their marriage now. By now, even she started realizing that she was not giving her best to the marriage, Akash & Aisha. She decided to meet an expert.
Nisha was surprised from what she discovered at the end of her sessions with the expert. The sessions helped her introspect and identify bundles of self anger stored up inside. Even after 4 years of separating from her ex, she has bundled up anger for him, herself and her parents. With expert’s guidance, she finally realized how stored up anger was surfacing at different times and creating havoc in her life. She was able to see the whole situation in a different light now and was also able to see her faults. This reflective analysis helped her understand her own nature better and receive guidance to work on them without dwelling in self pity and self criticism. Now no more she says ‘Why does this only happen to me! or show irrational anger’.
These sessions helped Nisha identify the behavior patters that caused that unreasonable anger and she was able to unlearn that pattern. At the end of the sessions with the expert, she was able to put behind her past and look forward to present life. Her relationship with her husband improved significantly and now they are quite close to having a happy and perfect marriage .
On various occassions, we like Nisha’s parents and husband, we always think good of our stressed friends but do not show them the right path. Just like Nisha, many of our friends and we ourselves require the support of a professional counselor on various occassion. We should not shy away and delay in approaching them. If something is bothering you, meet an expert and with their support you can be back to be your positive self again!
About Author: Mahalakshmi Rajagopal, Founder Director Sahayam – One Stop Intervention Centre for Children and Adults.