“Ah to be young and in love!” – A quote that eternally romanticizes young love. And what more adequate fruition to this young love could be than to get married? But, young love is not the only way people get married. We also get married with the consent of our parents and long lost relatives who bestow upon us the courtesy of finding us a ‘suitable match’ when we reach the marriageable age. Let us look at a breakdown of these ways by which we take a hopefully lifelong decision.
Love marriage – guided by young love, possibly the best kind there is. A classic ‘boy meets girl; both fall in love; get married’ story was given public recognition and acceptance with the recent coining of this term. But sadly, the story does not end here, oh far from it. Then come the presumed devilish parents to sabotage this young love by persuading them with arguments – hasty decision, different lifestyle choices, varied upbringing and the likes.
Are these age old questions so vague and pointless? I don’t think it’s fair to cast aside these reasonable doubts just because the ritual suggests a rebellion. Compatibility in thoughts and living style is something that must be given a serious thought lest we make a hasty decision to be regretted later.
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These are things one needn’t worry about in an arranged marriage. Thinking of parents as sensible human beings looking out for us, compatibility in arranged marriage is a virtual guarantee. The least we can almost always trust our parents with is to do research the ‘groom’ at a CBI probe level and look deep into his family, moral values, lifestyle etc. But this relevant information comes paired with astrological predictions and all sorts of hearsay adding a few other stages of compatibility checks.
There certainly lies more to a life long bond than traditional rapport. It’s something I can’t quite put into words. To say ‘a connection’ or ‘an instinct’ would be an understatement. Something that is developed over a period of time and can’t be hastened. It is that mysterious element that is the essence of marriage. If someone were to find this instant connection in the mere minutes that the to-be-couple is reluctantly granted, that person might have as well asked for the moon. For the rest of us, it is a tough call to have a scandalous heated discussion with our dear lovable pro creators to defend an obviously special person.
As I put more and more thought into it, I realize the question of one vs. other seems like an unending debate with both sides having valid points. The way to go for me seems to be a compromise between the two. It shall seem like a diplomatic stand on the issue but a prolonged engagement to gauge the relationship dynamics and then take a final stand has almost all the prospects any party desires. It might start a few rumor mills and we shall possibly have to face a few long lost relatives’ pestering comments to get married or worse, their critical, demeaning remarks should things turn sour, it is but a minuscule price to pay to keep your parents, close family and ourselves happy.