Effective Ways Of Communication In A Relationship

Here are some hacks that can help form a better communication pattern and can help you express better.

1. Use ‘What’ instead of ‘Why’: Choice of words used while communicating can influence the kind of impact they have on the person therefore it is important to think before we use a word. Certain words have a positive connotation while the others have negative. Therefore to be more polite and descriptive it is important that we use the word ‘What’ instead of ‘Why’ which is more accusing and direct. Example: It is always nice to ask someone “What made you do this?” Rather than “Why did you do this?”
2. Put it in a question form: Again putting your concern in a question form gives the other person a higher position. They feel empowered for you asked them for a favor. If you want someone to do your work put it in a question form rather than a statement. The response is more likely to be positive since its a more politer form. Example: Ask, “Can you get me a glass of what?” instead of “Go get me a glass of water.”
3. Turn your complains into requests: If you see a regular pattern in a persons behavior and you want them to change it and do as you wish it is important that you negotiate a little. For example it is always you who has to pick and drop your child to school, tutions and play while your partner takes no ownership what really works is to put your complain as a request with a little negotiation, if possible. Example: “if I drop her to school would you please pick her up”
4. Talk less, Listen more: In this busy world nobody really has time for the other and in this rat race we have forgotten a basic requirement of a relationship that is to listen to the other. We often talk a lot but hard listen. For a relationship to work it is important that the other person feels heard. Feeling heard not only gives you a sense that there is someone to understand and attend to you but also increases your knowledge. When you talk you only repeat what you know but when you listen you gain more knowledge and understanding of the other.
5. Use of ‘I’: It is important that we take the ownership of what we speak and take the ‘I’ stand. Many a times while communicating we unknowingly hurt the other person and it that process we also forget to express ourselves. Expressing how we feel is really important and taking the ‘I’ stand help you express and at the same time in less accusing. Example, “I was feeling like….” or “I felt really humiliated/sad/angry the other day” instead of “you made me feel this way“.
6. Appreciate the other: With each passing day we tend to become more ignorant about the other and the good things that our partners or close ones do for us.. We tend to be more aware of the mistakes that they make. Its a human nature to pin point the bad in other but it is equally important to acknowledge the good that they do. Never forget to you the two magical words: Thank you and sorry and acknowledge there presence for it can really make a difference in the relationship.

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About Author

Swekriti Bhatnagar is your special friend from Your D.O.S.T team. 
She is a Masters in Counseling Psychology from Christ University. She is experienced in dealing with adolescent and relationship related issues. 
She believes in the power of communication and that everyone has the ability to change. Through Your D.O.S.T she wants to help people vent out their worries and wishes to make a difference in the lives of people.