According to Deuteronomy 22:20-22 “But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father’s house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst”. Even the Holy Bible says if a girl isn’t virgin she should be killed.
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| Source: connectnigeria.com |
In our society it is considered vulnerable to have had a number of sexual partners before marriage. The church, contemplates it as “mistakes”, and grants amnesty to as easily as telling a white lie. But in the bible losing your virginity is far more serious than a simple mistake like telling a lie. How did Adam and Eve get married? Bible named no priest who did the formalities and pronounced them man and wife. They became married by the first act of intercourse.
Its an age old story that a woman’s virginity is her prized possession. Throughout our history all we read is about cultures across the world placing a high value on woman’s virginity. But with the reforming time, for increasing number of young men and women, sex is no longer the kind of taboo that it earlier used to be. Premarital sex is a definite straight stuff of our times. Forthwith, couples in a relationship are not reluctant about getting sexually intimate with each other even though there may be no guarantee that the relationship will get over the mountain of marriage or not. However, when it does come to the question of marriage, especially in the case of arranged marriages, a woman with a sexually active history still raises eyebrows and sets tongues wagging.
According to Dr Mahindra Vatsa, gynecologist and sex counselor, this frame of mind is chiefly because our traditional values are still strongly deep-seated in us. “One of the most common questions I get, till date, is ‘How do I know that my bride or girlfriend is a virgin?’ The only answer that I have to such questions is that there is no way to know,” says Dr Vatsa. According to him, it’s just the man’s and his family’s pretentious ego that results in such unrealistic demands. How then, does our traditional culture not hamper couples from engaging in premarital sex? “Once a couple is engaged, it’s like a license for marriage so they feel they can do anything,” he presumes.
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| Source:themuslimissue.wordpress.com |
Is virginity a big deal? I don’t think it is. It is just like any other experience in life. Some people undisputedly consider girls who have lost their virginity before marriage as immoral, sluts and what not. They even marry off their girls at 18-19 for the fear that if they remain unmarried, they will lose their virginity. But in the process, they cut short their education and career. What is more important, losing virginity or losing your education and means of earning a living independently?
You may be able to offer the prezzie of virginity to your husband but then you also have to depend on him for your livelihood. If she’s not educated and has never worked for her living, she will have no confidence that to sustain herself if her husband abandons her. And there are plenty of cases where girls get married at a young age and gave their prezzie of virginity to a buffoon of a husband.
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So anyway my take on this topic is that virginity is not the big enchilada. What is more important is educating yourself and having a means to earning a respectable living.