Falling in love is easier than falling out of it. First few months of every relationship is like a fairy tale like every prince and princess has had. Everything matches, be it emotion choice of food,people,colour,temper and even your favourite cartoon would be a mutual liking.
But then every fairy tale has a climax be it the entry of villain or personal misunderstandings. If you choose to not deal with an issue,then you give up your right of control over the issue and it will select the path of least resistance. We need to deal with issues.We always hope for the easy fix the one simple change that will erase a problem in a stroke. But few things in life work this way. Instead, success requires making a hundred small steps go right – one after the other, no slip-ups, no goofs, everyone pitching in.
Here are some common relationship problem and how to solve them
Communication
Communication is supposed to be key in a relationship – then why is it that the important things go unheard. Don’t assume your partner knows about everything you expect in a relationship. Let him/her know. A relationship should be based on communication, not on assumptions.
Problem Solving Strategies
Make an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, and let voicemail pick up your calls. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, ban phrases such as “You always …” or “You never ….” Use body language to show you are listening. Don’t scribble absentmindedly, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you are getting the message, and rephrase if you need to.
Sex
It has a remedy of cheering up. Lack of sex leads to increase in distance. Sex brings couples closer together, releases hormones that help their bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry healthy.
Problem Solving Strategies
Plan, plan, plan. Make an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. But probably that small lunch break during office time you can rush to each other. Or the first thing you do after coming back home sound be sex.
Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal “Sexy List”, suggests California psychotherapist Allison Cohen. Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.
Money
Something which every non earning couple needs desperately. Money is compulsory if you want the relationship to go on, as bills, payments, and savings need attention too.
Problem Solving Strategies
Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.
Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other’s tendencies. Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
Not Making Your Relationship A Priority
If you want to keep your love life going, make your relationship a focal point. “Relationships lose their lustre. So make yours a priority,” says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.
Problem Solving Strategies
Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life. Respect one another. Say “thank you,” and “I appreciate…” It lets your partner know that they matter.
Conflict
Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. “If you and your partner feel like you are starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day — i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day — it is time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.”
Problem Solving Strategies
Realise you are not a victim. It is your choice whether you react and how you react. Be honest with yourself. When you are in the midst of an argument, are your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for payback?
If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it is best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.
Give a little; get a lot. Apologise when you are wrong. Sure it is tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.
“You can’t control anyone else’s behaviour,” Silverman says. “The only one in your charge is you.”