IN BRIEF: In this post we look into the most bizarre, un-helpful, moronic advices people offer you at a critical juncture in life. We don’t question the motive behind each advice, but what we condemn is the lack of sense of timing in these advices.
When you are upset about something it is true that your friends and family will be the ones comforting you with warmth and love. But sometimes they end up saying stuff which rather makes you even more annoyed or agitated. Here are some:
1 – “It’s okay. It happens“
You usually get this after you tell someone about the thing that you did, which in your opinion you shouldn’t have done. Although it is a comforting statement but sometimes we are not in a stage to listen to such bromides. Of course it happens but I am still sad, okay?
2 – “Forget about it now”
Again this can be a genuine advice but forgetting stuff and letting go is easier said than done. It takes time.
3 – “I know this is sad. You know if I were in your place…”
Sometimes people tend to give their irrelevant examples and try to comfort you. Sometimes this can be very annoying. Of course things would be different if you were at my place, but we don’t own a time machine to change what happened right? Just listen to what I have to say.
4 – “You know this is nothing to cry about”
Definitely it is not but sometimes when you have accumulated loads of thoughts, crying is your way to break free. Crying doesn’t really make you weak. When people try to advice you not to cry about smaller issues, can they at least not say it when you have already cried?
5 – “If you love someone let them go”
This type of advice usually come when people don’t really know what to say to make their friend feel better and they end up saying irrelevant dialogues which are not even close to the problem.
6 – “Why didn’t you do this?”
This is more of a rebellion or advocate type of advice which people give. Sometimes it really helps but chances are rather than comforting your friend you make him/her feel bad about him/herself. Use this type of advice only when you have that sort of emotional bondage with the other person.
7 – “Why are you getting angry? Stay calm”
Staying calm is an important thing in crisis. But asking a person (who has just lost his job owing to someone else’s mistake) to stay calm is like asking an ice not to melt down.
8 – “Aren’t you old enough to understand it by yourself?”
This is sometimes a casual way of advising a person adopted by people who think the solution is crystal clear. However sometimes they are true but when they say that it is not really helpful to the person who is in dilemma.
9 – “You leave it up to me”
This is how you get pampered sometimes. People usually say this when they feel you cant take care of something. They might mean no harm but they are certainly making you dependent.
10 – “Know your limits. Know your boundaries. Don’t chase the stars”
This advice usually come from people who think we need a dose of practicality. Being practical in life is important of course but keeping our dreams limited to our perception of “practical options” is not really advisable in certain situations.