What are you scared of? Oh, don’t shake your head and say, “Nothing!” We are all scared of something – it could be fear of something real like mice and cockroaches or fear of the possibility of something going wrong – like feeling humiliated while addressing a crowd.
In this article, you are taken through a three step process of understanding why you are scared of something, what to do about it and finally how to overcome it.
- It’s quite simple really, you don’t feel scared when you are in control. This is why you are scared of natural calamities and terrorism – it is not in your control. However, when you are driving your car or riding your bike, though the chances of you getting hurt are more compared to catastrophes, you are not scared because you have a feeling of control.
The biology of this is explained in the book ‘Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long’. “The loss of prefrontal function only occurs when we feel out of control. It’s the prefrontal cortex itself that is determining if we are in control or not. Even if we have the illusion that we are in control, our cognitive functions are preserved.”
- Now you have no control over something, how do you still not fear it? Visualize your fears. This may sound counter-intuitive, but the logic is, the more you think about your fears, the less scary they become. So you have a fear of heights? Think about riding in a cable car. Does this make you feel scared? Make it worse, think that the cable car crashes and you fall down, down, down like Alice down the rabbit hole. But don’t stop there, think of all the bloody wounds and fractures that you can have. And then? Well, you can stop now. Just concentrate on your breathing. You have imagined the worst, your mind can’t play any other tricks on you.
As explained in the book ‘Code of the Samurai: A Modern Translation of the Bushido Shoshinshu of Taira Shigesuke: A Contemporary Translation of the Bushido Shoshins’ samurais are asked to constantly think about death, so that death does not seem scary anymore.
- Finally, gradually expose yourself to your fear. Take baby steps, but make sure you progress. Basically, you must ‘face your fears’. That’s an old and boring cliché, but a cliché is a cliché for a reason, right? Are you scared of closed spaces? Try riding an elevator one floor at a time.
As Stanford neuroscientist, Philippe Goldin said in an interview, “Exposure is hands down the most successful way to deal with phobias, anxiety disorders, and everyday fears of any sort”.
So, there you have it, why you get scared and what to do about it. Do sound out in the comments below about your phobias and how you overcame them.