Is the honeymoon period of your relationship over? Don’t be dismayed, there are plenty of simple, actionable tips for you to keep the fire in your relationship burning bright! Author Tara Praker-Pope, in her book, ‘For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed’ provides many tips on what couples should be doing for a happy relationship.
Here are a few sketches:
- Make a big deal of small good news: Basically, the point here is to celebrate small events and victories. Go out for dinner, give each other gifts – you know, make a fuss about your partner’s achievements, however small they are.
In a study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that the way couples react to each other’s good news—either with excitement, pride, or indifference—is crucial in forming a strong bond.
- The 5:1 ratio: For every snide, rude or veiled remark, you need to make it up by 5 sweet, loving remarks.
If the ratio of your hateful remarks and loving remarks is 1:1, it is a sign that your marriage is going downhill. This rule applies to both work and romantic relationships, approved by the ‘love guru’ John Gottman himself!
- Expect more from your relationship: Keeping your standards high like, expecting to be treated well and wanting romance translates into reality. If you expect an averagely satisfying relationship, you are going to have an averagely satisfying relationship. In short, you get what you expect.
According to a study conducted by Florida State University, an interrelation was observed between higher expectations and happier marriages.
- Keep your friends and family in the loop: You must not rely solely on your marriage for all the emotional support and companionship you need. Have a close knit circle outside your marriage, consisting of friends and family.
In fact, this is called the dispersion theory in a study conducted by Cornell University and Facebook, and is revealed to be a fair indicator of the couple’s happiness and increased chances of staying together.
- Increase intimacy: Over the course of time, the excitement diminishes. Being intimate has psychological and physiological benefits for both the partners. Or as the author of the book puts it, “Put down this book and go have sex with your husband or wife.”
According to a study published in Psychological Science, there is a positive relation between how much sex a couple has and their positive feelings for each other. (Surprise, surprise!)
- A Break from your routine: When couples were divided into those who have ‘pleasant’ experiences together and those who have ‘exciting’ experiences together, it is the exciting group that had better relationships.
Or as research from the University of Denver puts it, “The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high and significant.”
Do you have any unique, innovative tips on how to maintain a happy relationship? Do let us know in the comments below! Also, for more advice on what you should do for a happy, healthy relationship, chat with our experts at YourDOST right now!