A Letter From A Young, Worried Mother To Her Mother – Will I Be A Good Mother Like You?

Dear Mom,

I am a mother of a beautiful baby and I understand you better now. I understand how you wanted to give me the best of everything but always felt there was something missing. I feel it now and I want you to help. Will I be a good mother like you?

Yes, you read that right. You have been amazing to me always. I couldn’t say this to you earlier. Motherhood so far has been a blessing which comes with its own share of responsibilities. It feels like my baby was born just yesterday and today he is almost 9 months old.

He is growing so quickly, did you think the same about me?

We were such good friends until I turned into a rebel during my teenage. I just had to fight with you every day about every single thing. I  made you cry and felt horrible about it. I never did this before but I am very sorry, Mom. I really am. “Sorry” is too easy a word to say but it makes me feel relieved now.

I know you always forgave me for my behavior. Will I be forgiving like you?

I remember that day very well when we were out and hungry. You had forgotten to keep your cards with you and we were running short of cash to eat. Despite being hungry you let me choose the food I liked. Inconsiderate, that I was I chose the most expensive one and you had to stay hungry. I refused to share my food with you and you never complained about it. Will I be sacrificing like you?

I always wondered that the other mothers were so dominating and restrictive unlike you. You supported me in my decisions and dreams  and whenever you didn’t I felt you were a bad mother. I apologize for thinking that way. I can now understand that you were only trying to protect me. I would want to protect my baby always.

You never lost your temper even when I was on my worst behavior. I must have embarrassed you in front of so many people but you never raised your voice. You patiently spoke to me to understand what was running on my mind. You tolerated my accusations.

You always listened to me instead of reacting. Will I be patient with my child?

During the rough phase of my teenage, you supported my decisions. Though I kept my boundaries you tried to be my friend. You always tried to understand me. You supported me when nobody else did. You believed in my ideas and dreams  even when the rest of the world said that girls don’t do such things.

Dear mother, I am worried. Will my baby grow up to consider me as his friend?

You have never taken credit for anything you did for the family. You always found it so easy to sacrifice. According to a 2013 World Bank study, only 27% of the female population aged over 15 are working in India. You sacrificed your career to give me enough attention and bring me into the being I am today. But what if I don’t do the same? Will my child think I am selfish?

I have been independent and detached from the family since my teenage. But we shared an understanding I can not explain. I didn’t have to tell you I was upset you could sense it even when I tried to disguise. You understand me the best and now that I am also a mother, I can connect with you even better. Will I be able to build such a bond with my baby as he grows up?

Mom, you are my role model for motherhood but I am scared and worried. Will I be doing enough for my baby? I have never been this worried but I want to give the best to my child. I never want him to feel I was not good enough for him. Motherhood is changing me and these changes are inevitable.

I appreciate you more now and I realize that I should have done this earlier. But will my child be happy to have me as his mother?

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