People struggle all their lives to find the right partner and longing for perfection as in their head. Perfection is something which has constantly found its foray in real life and the truth of our lives is unhappiness post marriage. But how did this happen?
Didn’t we like go on multiple dates, made mental maps of each other together but we still we can’t figure out why is it falling apart.
This is sad as there are some basic details that go wrong when we choose the right one.
We think we understand ourselves:
While we look out for a partner we come up with terms like ‘kind’ or ‘fun to be with’, ‘attractive’ or ‘up for an adventure’. There is nothing wrong with this approach but we are not at all sure as to what we really want.
We are all crazy, stupid, neurotic and unbalanced in many ways but all these aspects don’t come out as no one ever encourages us to find this out.
We don’t wish to understand other people:
With everything available at our fingertips we deceive ourselves that we know it all but in reality, we hate to dive deep.
When we marry there are a million answers to know from their psyche, intimacy, money, children, aging, fidelity, stance on certain things. This deeper knowledge of the other self is not available by just going on dates.
Maybe as time progresses, prospective matches would be opting for a detailed psychological questionnaire to be analyzed by experts and decide logically.
Happiness is temporary:
We have been conditioned that happiness is always a by-product of certain actions. As a kid, better marks made us a hero, for an adult it is the success in professional and personal life. While we do feel happy with all the material pleasures around us but we are not content internally.
How could you be Single?
There is a lot of pressure to be the perfect person and discharge your duties in only a particular way. One of the most judgemental questions is “Why is he/she single? Maybe there is something wrong.” With such monumental pressure from family and peers we go ahead with choices we have, just to change our relationship status.
We take Love for granted:
While we are marrying a person but in reality, it’s someone’s psychology. But we keep matching things which have nothing to do with this and leave out the most important aspect i.e Love. There is a saying in most of our families “Go through the marriage and love will happen.” It definitely sounds nice but doesn’t necessarily work.
We are Superior!
While the whole world is doing things one way and may be the numbers suggest otherwise in terms of relationships. But we feel we can beat the rest as we are superior in thought and defy the trend.
How to cope up with this:
- Be a little more compassionate while judging people at the first look.
- Adapt to newer feelings and don’t be scared of them.
- If you are not ready, you are not ready. Don’t give up to societal pressure.
- Invest enough time with your partner and get a detailed psychological analysis to see how you both fit together.