I am 23 years old and I have never been in a relationship. It’s just frustrating. I am shy and reserved but I feel I am fatally ‘unattractive’ and that’s why no one takes a notice of me. I did manage to get on a few dates but nothing seems to work – either people express no interest in me or they are too desperate. I try not to worry about superficial things like looks, height, my hair, etc. but my loneliness and insecurities upsets me. I look at the mirror and I often cry. Sometimes, it’s because I think I am ugly, the other times I feel I look pretty but no one seems to think I am. I am becoming sick and tired of this.
Being a counselor, we get a lot of people reaching out to us asking for advice on similar issues. Going through a feeling of loneliness is not uncommon; in fact, many of us may feel like going through it at one point or the other in our lives. Quite often it is accompanied by a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, trust issues, and self-doubt. All this can cause serious issues in your personal and professional life.
In this post, we look at how you can go about dealing with similar issues and tackle loneliness.
1) Work towards self-acceptance
The first and foremost step is to accept and embrace all facets of your personality. As a counselor, we often advise our clients to also accept the parts of themselves they are otherwise not ready to accept. And it’s only when you stop judging yourselves that you can create a more positive outlook towards life.
You need to understand that you are born with limited resources, for instance, your looks, and intelligence. But you can work on optimizing it by:
1. Learning to identify and assess strengths/weaknesses
2. Learning to optimize strengths that you already possess
2) Improve repertoire of skills you have
While one may likely be gifted with certain skills, but that doesn’t mean it is difficult to learn additional skills. Learning new skills that are within your interest, for instance, a musical instrument, a new language, a new sport or even cooking, serves two key purposes:
1. Develops a hobby
2. Also, it works as a platform to meet like-minded people.
If you think learning a new skill can be tough, think again. All you need is 20 hours of focused, deliberate practice and you can easily learn something new, and even outperform a vast majority of the population. If you learn to practice in a smart and intelligent way, there is literally no limit to what you can learn and master.
3) Identify skills you would like to improve on to help meet your goals
Let’s understand it through the case of the girl. Here, the girl should introspect to incorporate the things that can make her company more enjoyable, if she is driving people away. For instance, her:
1. Communication skills
2. Language skills
3. Grooming /hygiene, etc.
In addition to this, she should enhance her knowledge to have more things to talk about during her dates.
Further she should ask herself if she comes across as approachable or not, or if she is not able to recognize if guys are showing interest and she is able to reciprocate it.
4) Identify what makes you different from the others
This is usually done by observing others and by collecting information. In this case, the girl can improve or refine on certain skills she believes she lacks. And use the things she is good at which can, in turn, boost her self-esteem and confidence.
5) Shift the aim of interaction
Given that love cannot be chased and found, one must shift the aim from finding love and companionship to increase and expand your friend’s circle. Here you can make groups of friends or buddies that you can hang out with. For instance, drinking buddies, movie buddies, adventure sports buddies, gyming buddies, etc. An active social life is a great way to get rid of the loneliness feeling. It can greatly enhance your confidence and self-esteem.
6) Have a sense of gratitude
Having a sense of gratitude for the things one already have is important. But also be sensitive towards the less privileged beings, who are deprived of love and affection. For instance, orphans or an old age people. To that effect, you can volunteer your time to be with such people. This helps in shifting focus from yourself to the others and in the process it changes your ‘self-pity’ perspective.
7) Never Give Up
And lastly, it is imperative to keep trying and keep up the faith and not give up.
These are some of the many things you can do to revive your lost confidence, build your self-esteem and get rid of the feeling of loneliness.
But if for some reason you are unable to tackle it yourself, there is always help available. It’s just a matter of you opening up! Chat with our experts online if you need any guidance.
Cover Image Source – http://www.andpop.com
아이 슬롯
골드 아일랜드의 북쪽, 더 북쪽, 거의 알래스카까지.
온라인 슬롯
죽은 말을 내보낼 뻔했는데 운이 없는 것 같아서 그냥 말을 멈췄다.
파워 오브 토르 메가웨이즈
립 서비스에 대해 이야기하면 백은 종종 성공하고 Wu Kuan의 상대는 아닙니다.
와일드 바운티 쇼다운
그는 말하면서 단검을 들고 케이크를 잘랐다.
에그벳슬롯
분명히 Zhu Houzhao는 모든 부족의 소식에 매우 관심이 있습니다.
슬롯 카지노
그러나 이때 외부 누군가가 말했다. “내각 학자 Liu Jian, Li Dongyang이 여기 있습니다.”
슈가 러쉬
종이처럼 창백한 얼굴을 한 학자가 비틀거리며 들어왔다.
레거시 오브 데드
Liu 박사는 잠시 침묵을 지켰다가 잠시 생각에 잠겼습니다. “장례식을 준비하는 것이 가장 좋습니다.”
맥심 슬롯
단 한 가지가 있습니다. 그는 매일 비가 오나 눈이 오나 그것을 해야 합니다.
문 프린세스 100
잠시 후 Xie Qian은 Nuan Pavilion에 들어가 “폐하를 봤습니다. “라고 경의를 표했습니다.
피망 슬롯
이번에는 의기양양하다고 말할 수 있고, 나는 더 이상 그 일본인들의 새다움에 굴복하지 않는다.
톰 오브 매드니스
머리는 수없이 굴러갔지만 땅바닥에 무릎을 꿇고 있던 주즈슈의 무릎까지 굴러갔다.
에그슬롯
내시는 속삭였다. “쑤 대사님 신발을 벗고 들어오세요.”환관은 말에서 내리며 “전하, 명령을 받아 주십시오.”라고 말했습니다.
EGGC
또한 정부가 부모님을 체포하여 10년 또는 8년 동안 감금할 수 있기를 바랍니다.
슈가 러쉬 X마스
아니나 다를까… 미루는 역사상 스젠자이에 숨어있었고 지금도 여기 있다.
5 라이온스 메가웨이즈
Zhu Zaimo는 “아버지, Sun Chen이 듣고 싶어합니다 …”라고 말했습니다.
와일드 웨스트 골드
Wang Wenyu는 주저하지 않고 일어나 아무 말도하지 않고 떠났습니다.
에그벳300
Hongzhi 황제는 미소를지었습니다. “실례합니다. 전에 책을 읽은 적이 있습니까?”
k8 スポーツ ブック
素敵な記事をありがとうございます。心から感謝しています。
mikaspa.com
그 직후 Baoding에있는 사람들도 기차로 왔습니다.
thephotoretouch.com
이때 “빨리 말하라, 빨리 말하라”는 깊은 목소리가 들렸다.
k8 カジノ 公式
実用性抜群の内容で、とても有益でした。ありがとうございます。
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태후 황후는 약간 어이가 없었지만 여전히 매우 진지했습니다. 그녀는 운명의 사람입니다.
ilogidis.com
Fang Jifan은 “전하께서는 지금 어떻게 지내십니까? “라고 말했습니다.
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그녀가 임신 한 것이 유감스럽고 Fang Jifan은 아기처럼 순종적으로 옆에 앉았습니다.
k8 カジノ クレジットカード
感動しました!これからも素敵な記事を期待しています。
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Hongzhi 황제는 쓴웃음을 지었지만 즉시 Zhu Zaimo에게 즐거워했습니다.
geinoutime.com
“개 같은 것, 선철 가격이 50% 인상될 것이고, 당신은 구리 동전 하나 덜 팔려서 죽임을 당할 것입니다!”
k8 カジノ パチスロ
実践的な知識が満載で、非常に価値のある記事でした。
k8 カジノ レート
毎回このブログから新しいことを学びます。感謝しています。
geinoutime.com
이것을 생각하면 Fang Jifan은 도울 수 없었지만 눈물을 흘리고 싶었습니다.
zanetvize.com
Fang Jifan은 여전히 \u200b\u200b약간의 의아함을 느꼈습니다. 아마도 Lao Wang은 멜론을 팔고 자랑하고 있었을 것입니다.
werankcities.com
Xiao Jing은 기회를 잡고 “Fang Jifan, 무례하지 마십시오. “라고 말했습니다.
k8 カジノ スロット
毎回読むたびに新しいことを学びます。これからも応援しています。
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“알았어, 아저씨… 아저씨…” 하고 싶어 손을 들었다.
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그는 가족이 바지를 입었다는 말을 들어본 적이 없습니다.
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素敵な視点と洞察に富んだ内容でした。感謝しています。
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그 왕 창창조차도 지금은 차분하고 편안합니다.
exprimegranada.com
この記事は本当に心に響きました。素晴らしい洞察です。
ilogidis.com
Baiguan은 사원을 대표하고 또한 전체 선비 계층의 태도를 나타냅니다.
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このブログのすべての記事が大好きです。いつも素晴らしい内容をありがとう。
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여기 Xishan에 새로운 장식이 있지만 목적은 Shengjia를 환영하는 것입니다.
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Xiao Jing은 차갑게 속삭이는 장관들만 바라 보았습니다.
exprimegranada.com
素晴らしい記事でした。いつも新しいインスピレーションをありがとう。
thephotoretouch.com
서산 전체가 움직이기 시작했습니다.
sandyterrace.com
Hu Kaishan의 시선은 마치 먹이를 보는 것처럼 멀지 않은 일본 해적을 바라보는 횃불과 같았습니다.
fpparisshop.com
このブログのすべての記事が大好きです。いつも素晴らしい内容をありがとう。
nikontinoll.com
Fang Jifan은 단호한 얼굴로 “그의 전하, 나는 당신을 위해 …”라고 말했습니다.
exprimegranada.com
素晴らしい記事。非常に興味深く、有益でした。
onair2tv.com
Fang Jifan 앞에서 Wang Jinyuan은 완전한 샌드백입니다.
qiyezp.com
Zhu Houzhao는 눈물을 닦고 외쳤습니다. “증조 할머니는 Erchen에게 최고였습니다 …”
ihrfuehrerschein.com
더 이상 생각하지 않고 그는 한 걸음 앞으로 나아가 낮은 목소리로 “Duke Qi, Duke Qi …”라고 말했습니다.
otraresacamas.com
この記事の内容にはいつも感銘を受けます。素晴らしいです!
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