How I Went From “I Don’t Deserve to Live” to “Life Is Good”

“Tell your story because your story will heal and it will heal someone else“

-Unknown

This is precisely what our friend Aishwarya believes. Hence she shares her own inspirational story so it may help heal others.

When I first sought help and came to YourDOST, I was severely depressed, highly anxious and displayed suicidal tendencies

Aishwarya, 25, is a Masters student at one of India’s premier institutes. When she approached YourDOST in the summer of 2017, she had been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for a while.

I think the first time I really experienced depression was at the age of 16, when my best friend was diagnosed with cancer

Worse still, nobody recognized the symptoms and hence, she got no help. In fact Aishwarya had no clue herself that she was in great need of professional help, not even when she planned her own suicide.

I believed everything that others would say about me, that I was lazy, unmotivated, didn’t care enough, didn’t have a drive, etc. So whenever I brought up depression, I myself felt that I was still making excuses to get people to let me get away with my behaviour

It was only when her college mandated her to meet with a therapist, did she finally seek help.

It was one of the best things that happened to me

It took 2.5 years of therapy, constant support and much work for her to go from “I don’t deserve to live” to “Life is pretty good. I’m doing great”

By the time 2019 rolled in, I had gone from feeling like I was operating under a deficit from being so numb for so long, to having reached a baseline from which I could grow further

Aishwarya decided to dedicate 2019 to further develop as a person who was functional with a positive, growth-oriented mindset. She now feels energetic, driven, goal oriented, and hopeful. Her self-esteem and confidence have risen exponentially. She had never imagined that she would ever feel this way.

I actually look forward to life. Nothing is going to keep me from my goals. Another thing- I actually have goals, and manage to accomplish them. It’s a huge thing for somebody who struggled to get out of bed everyday

She credits her own will to get better along with the systemic support she received, to get to where she is today.

My therapists were very kind. They listened. They made me realise I could be much better, live a much better life

In the end, she urges anyone and everyone in a situation similar to hers, to seek help.

Go out. Seek help. Stay alive, because as long as you’re alive, you’re a blank slate and you can do anything in the world you want. I hope you get better and live a good life.

It takes a lot of courage to openly share something so personal. We are really grateful to Aishwarya for not only trusting us in her time of need, but also sharing her story to inspire a lot of others who’re still unsure if counseling can help them or not

If you’re also struggling, please know that we’re here for you. Talk to a YourDOST Expert today, for personalized guidance.

Many more such #YDWarriors decided to share their stories with us to inspire others. If you have also gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, share your contact details and we shall get in touch with you. Click here to share your details.