Suraj’s Transformations From Wanting to Fit in With His Friends, to Embracing His Uniqueness

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

– Bernard M. Maruch

Suraj had always struggled to fit in. Back in 2017, when he first moved away from home to his college hostel, he met lots of different people from all over the country. He missed his parents and found it extremely difficult to make friends.

“My friends and I had some disagreement at that time and consequently we had some arguments ”

His difficulty in making friends led to Suraj constantly questioning, “Why am I not like them?”

Soon, Suraj began trying to change himself to please the people around him.

“My friends didn’t like me, for some or the other reason. So I kept trying to change myself in order to fit in.”

To make things worse, Suraj began performing badly in his academics as well. He found himself procrastinating a lot, and thus, laziness began to set in. He also constantly compared himself to others, and this ultimately led to self-esteem issues. This is when he began availing the counseling services offered by YourDOST.

Suraj’s Expert first helped him counter his laziness and helped him incorporate healthy habits into his lifestyle. He was advised to keep himself busy, either through exercise or by going for walks or indulging in his hobbies.

Keeping myself busy helped keep unnecessary thoughts away from my mind. And I began performing better academically as well.

By his fifth semester, Suraj’s academic performance had improved greatly. He even received admission at one of India’s premier institutes. Now he was well-equipped to handle himself much better than at his previous college.

“In my previous college, there were about 25-30 students in my class. But at my new college, there were almost 50. But despite the higher number of people around me, I was able to easily make friends, and I was very aware of my dos and don’ts”

After six to seven months of counseling, Suraj began to realize something very important.

I realized that I need to focus on my own life and my own goals, instead of comparing myself to others. Because whatever you are, you are the best version of yourself, and there is no need to be like them.

Suraj also began to realize that there was no need for any comparison between people.

“Counseling helped me contemplate that maybe the others are on the wrong path, and maybe I am on the right path. You never know.”

Life had been smooth sailing for Suraj from then onwards. But during the lockdown due to the CoViD pandemic, he began experiencing problems again. Lockdown forced Suraj to move back to his hometown, where he was surrounded by people. Here, Suraj began to experience several anxieties.

“I was feeling overly concerned about my relatives’ safety. I used to get very anxious whenever someone went out, and I would worry about the consequences a lot. This is why I decided to seek help again.”

Once again, Suraj sought guidance from one of the Experts on the YourDOST platform. His Expert then began helping him with his issues once more.

My Expert was able to calm me down, and I realized that if the right precautions are taken by everyone, then there is no need for me to worry so much.

Just as counseling helped solve several issues for Suraj, he believes that it can help others too.

“My advice for others is, even if you are going through problems, never give up. Try to talk to someone you trust, such as your parents or your siblings. If not, then try to talk to a counselor. But never give up on your problems.”

Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.

Suraj’s Warrior Tips:
1. Don’t compare yourself to others because you are unique and so is your journey
2. There’s always a way out. Don’t give up
3. When things get too much to handle on your own, talk to someone you trust, such as your parents or siblings. If not, then try to talk to a counselor