“Believing in yourself is the first secret to success,” and ‘not trusting your choices enough’ a lack of growth. The prime reason why Abhas Gupta could not see himself succeed in whatever he did. As a Marketing Lead, he found himself always living in regrets because of the choices he made.
Abhas had dropped out of opportunities for most of his life because of self-doubt. He declined ‘exploring’ new facets owing to phrases like “What will people say?” and “What if you fail?” His self-confidence was almost negligible, and hence, he’d refrain from taking any risk that could help him achieve more. All Abhas knew was to live in a state of regret, but how long?
The lack of self-confidence had started to affect his mental health. Abhas had begun to feel like he wasn’t living up to his potential and that every good opportunity was slipping off his hands because of the constant fear he faced.
“Living with the regret of not being enough is hard. I always live in the past, with all the opportunities that I could’ve had. This was when I started writing about my emotions. I needed a place to vent, and before I discovered YourDOST, I felt like this was the only way.”
At first, Abhas used online resources like blogs and articles to understand himself. He didn’t feel like his troubles were big enough for him to seek help until he slowly realized that nothing was helping. He realized that to change his attitude and strive towards confidence; he had to understand his challenges, which was possible only by seeking professional help.
“I never thought that counseling was open to day-to-day issues like myself. This unawareness made me live in the dark for so many years. But one day, I came across the blogs from YourDOST, and I decided to take a session, and it was the start to a new beginning.”
On reading a blog on YourDOST, Abhas understood that therapy was for everybody, even someone like him who lacked confidence. So he started his sessions talking about the current issues he faced and then slowly delved a little deeper into his childhood.
“The first step towards change was to acknowledge and accept my problems. Then there was room for change. My problem was that I was filled with self-doubt and always compared myself to other people’s success. I needed to get out of this mindset.”
Delving deeper into the root cause brought Abhas to realize that he was constantly comparing himself to others and how his attitude was a prominent reason why he felt afraid and had self-doubt growing up.
On recalling how dealing with his issues had significantly become more manageable with therapy, Abhas says, “Nobody knew about my issues except my family. They were very supportive of me seeking help. While venting on my notebook was cathartic, counseling did help me understand the root cause of my problems.”
But finding the root cause wasn’t the solution. It was the techniques and strategies that dramatically improved Abhas’s life. Adding to the practice of writing emotions, Abhas’s counselor told him to categorize them into both ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ feelings. The counselor also suggested a routine for physical activity that eventually strengthened his core beliefs and gave him the space to fight his mind.
These new changes in his routine helped Abhas inculcate good habits into his life. With every new challenging day ahead, he made sure to write a list of his accomplishments, even if they were small tasks. Acknowledging them helped him understand his inhibitions and strengths to help him lead an everyday life, minus the inhibitions.
Not just that, Abhas also learned the art of friendship, hard work, and good company that helped him gain a better perspective of life.
“A big thank you to the overall team for the articles which helped me gain so much knowledge about mental health. It is a wonderful concept to have counselors with you on hand every day when you need them.”
On summarising his story of progress in a line, a grateful Abhas says, “I started seeing a confident version of myself, and I am so proud. “
And all we’ve got to say is we’re so proud of you too, Abhas.
Abhas’s Warrior Tips:
1. We may have friends and family who are willing to listen to us, but it is different to open up to a counselor because they are more non-judgmental.
2. Writing your thoughts down on paper really helps your mind.
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.