We humans are a pool of emotions. Each person has different ways of expressing their emotions. But sometimes it can have negative effects. Divya, 28 and a research scholar in electronics and communications at IIT (ISM) Dhanbad, shares her story of how she decided not to jump into conclusions based on her emotions.
As someone who has always been extremely emotional, little did Divya know that this would go on to become unpleasant for her.
“People said that it is good that I am emotional but for me it makes me an open book and I trust easily.”
In March 2020, Divya got into a romantic relationship and she was serious about the way it was going. So serious that she even told her parents about it. To her surprise, her parents didn’t support because of it’s inter-caste nature.
Soon her parents started pressuring her to get married to someone else which also affected her academics.
“I wanted to cope with the pressure from my family and also be able to focus on my studies.”
What came next was something Divya had never thought of.
“I realized that the guy I was in a relationship with wasn’t as serious as me. This shattered me completely. Soon, I ended my relationship with him.”
The break up affected Divya deeply. As she continued to move forward, things changed and once again, she felt hopeful.
“I got into a new relationship with the same amount of vulnerability. But my partner didn’t reciprocate the same and this for me was alarming.”
Overtime, Divya understood that what matters to her in relationships is an emotional connection. The minute she realizes that the same level of emotional involvement as hers is missing, she ends the relationship before she gets emotionally hurt.
This made Divya enter a ‘self-evaluation’ mode where she wanted to figure out what it is that she expects from a relationship and why she gets emotionally involved too soon. She wanted the right answers and decided to reach out to YourDOST.
“Initially I couldn’t stick to one counsellor, approached many but eventually I got comfortable with the counsellor Ishita Attri. I was able to openly talk about my issues and Ishita helped me with self-introspection”
Divya’s counselor posed her with a set of questions which helped her reflect on her feelings and thoughts. During this, she was planning to meet a guy that she was dating and this timing couldn’t have been better.
“Bound within my emotional strings, I was confused about meeting the guy. Ishita suggested that I write down the pros about meeting him. This helped me regulate my emotions better”
With her counselor’s guidance, Divya finally started to break out of her emotional restrictions and felt more confident than ever.
“All the self realisations through the counselling sessions helped me see the better in me. I stopped questioning my self worth and was able to get clarity about her feelings.”
Today, Divya feels extremely grateful to her counseling for believing in her and being patient with her. She looks forward to the sessions with Ishita every weekend and she feels good about herself after each session.
“What I appreciate is that my counselor was never biased towards me and my issues.”
For those who still see counseling a taboo, Divya has one message.
“Not being judged feels beautiful. I want everyone to reach out for help if you feel like you need someone to talk to. Experts will never give you solutions, but you will get some clarity on how to make decisions.”
We are proud of you, Divya!
Divya’s Warrior Tips:
1. Do not feel that your issue is small and so you don’t need help.
2. It is better to open up to a professional as they will be unbiased
3. There is nothing wrong in getting help for mental health concerns. It is the same as reaching out to a doctor for physical ailments.
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