Counseling Helped Anubhav Balance Self And Family Expectations

We have probably had a lot of arguments with society regarding our own expectations as Indians, haven’t we? Setting the right balance between family expectations and self is no cakewalk. This balance can only further be distorted in current circumstances. Anubhav (Name Changed) Singh, a 23-year-old Chemical Engineering student from IIT Madras also found himself in such a situation during this lockdown. People often think that students studying in one of the top universities should be relaxed and happy, but they have their issues.

Having a great interest in swimming and aligning his career path in the research field, Anubhav has always been the determined individual that he is today. Anubhav grew up in Kota, a city in India that draws thousands of students from all over the country to enrol in institutes to prepare for the IIT-JEE examination. Anubhav indeed grew up in a similar competitive environment. Despite being a moderate student, Anubhav worked very hard on himself to stay true to himself and parallelly satisfy the family members’ expectations too. He started having sleepless nights and worrying about his future during the lockdown.

“Lack of no in-person lectures was making a huge impact on me. I saw my confidence fading away. I started developing FOMO too.”

Things were all over the place for Anubhav and the fear of missing out on something important was making him anxious. During the dark hour, Anubhav’s family got infected with the Covid-19 virus and that brought another set of responsibilities for him. Anubhav knew that he needed to seek help from a professional. As per him, the water had gone above his head and he needed guidance from someone. 

“I was aware of YourDOST and their services but never availed for it. When I realised I need help, I reached out to them. I got connected with Ms Sheetal Rajput and began my video-counseling sessions.”

Sheetal made Anubhav extremely comfortable and owing to her humble and caring nature, Anubhav slowly started sharing his issues. Sheetal suggested that Anubhav should focus more on the present and not worry extensively about the future. Sheetal also advised him to practice muscle relaxation techniques and a very interesting exercise to focus on the darkness in order to relax his mind.

By closing our eyes while taking deep breaths, we can feel our stress fading away. We can also focus on the darkness to activate the zen mindset, which can later help us to concentrate and focus better. 

“Mental wellness is not only about being happy, it’s about making the right career choice too. I learned that after my sessions.”

Anubhav slowly started making changes in his perspective towards the future and realised that it’s not always ideal for getting anxious with the fear of the unknown. Sheetal made Anubhav realise that it’s okay to have self-doubts every now and then, but we must remember to always look at the bright side and remain calm. Anubhav was asked to practice breathing exercises to help reduce his anxiety levels. He stopped being hard on himself.

With Sheetal’s support and guidance, Anubhav made the career choice he always wanted. He quit his job and started curating the path he always wanted – A Researcher! Anubhav is now a relatively calm person, someone who focuses on himself and not on what others might say. He called the counseling journey extremely productive and rated himself a 4 out of 5 in terms of feeling better.

“I couldn’t tell my parents that I was seeking counseling. I was scared that they might oppose it. But being focused now makes me happy and seeing my main issue of sleep habits got resolved. I’m forever thankful to my counselor for that.”

Anubhav’s need to be the best and do everything perfectly somehow pushed him to get overwhelmed very easily. Though he is elated to have a counselor who is non-judgemental, sometimes he still overthinks about the situation but feels relieved and stress-free now!

Anubhav’s Warrior Tips:
1. You should not fear being trust-broken and approach a counselor to make yourself better.
2. Counselors will always give you ample time to open up, and so, we should give it some time without backing out.
3. It often happens that we think we are fine, and one should only go to a counselor when a significant issue occurs, but even small things can affect one’s well-being. Like regular health checkups, one should seek time for wellness checkups too.

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