Letting Go Is Braver than Holding on until You Break – Janhavi

Many of us go through certain constraints within ourselves that stop us from becoming who we are capable of. Pursuing her bachelor’s in Product Design from Anant National University, this is the story of 20-year-old Jahnavi.

Born and brought up in a family with four members, Janhavi belongs to the city of Nagpur, Maharashtra. Since childhood, she had her hands-on creativity with painting which was her favourite activity. Later she started developing an interest in table tennis as well and spread her interests further to travelling and exploring new places. With the commencement of her college life, she had moved to Ahmedabad where she fell in love with the place and the people there at the first sight. 

Not long before she had accelerated with her college years, Janhavi had started to notice certain traits within her that could hamper her overall development.

“Since I was very shy, I wasn’t able to put my ideas properly in front of people. And being a designer, it was a very basic need but I still couldn’t communicate my ideas.”

Though Janhavi loved her classes at ANU, she was hesitant to speak up in front of others in the class. This forbade her to put her idea on the table. Her career in the field of designing challenged an utter necessity to be open to networking. 

The more she started experiencing this issue, the less confident she felt. As her days passed, Janhavi started losing her confidence bit by bit. She would even forbid herself from switching on the camera during her online classes. This led her to develop a fear of not being recognised. Janhavi often found herself in a state of chaos where she was unable to identify the root cause of this issue. She wanted to get out of this loop where her mind was affecting her work quality and her confidence as well. 

“I wanted to understand my work and my thoughts. My ideas won’t come out because my brain is continuously thinking how bad I am”.

Eventually, Janhavi’s fear started reflecting in her behavior. As she encountered her problems, she had developed huge levels of frustration followed by headaches which were just the starting of this downhill journey. 

Eventually, she found herself crying more frequently and sleeping longer. The anxiety and frustration also led her to lose interest in any activity and she would rather indulge herself in watching series endlessly as she felt that it was a getaway from her troubles. The feeling of not being good enough was tolling on her mental health to unimaginable bounds. But like they say ‘Sometimes letting go is braver than holding on until you break’, Janhavi decided to take a leap of faith. 

“I was only focusing on negative thoughts and didn’t let positive thoughts come to my mind. My friend noticed this change in me and advised me that I should take up counseling.”

Janhavi was in a dilemma of the consequences of counseling. But she was adamant to take it up. Janhavi’s college, ANU has partnered with YourDOST as their emotional wellness coach. Without wasting much time, she decided to start her sessions with a counselor, Ms. Meenakshi. 

“Meenakshi seemed to be a warm and understanding person who listened to my story calmly. She is the one I relied on. It was fearful for me because I wasn’t used to coming out of my fears.”

Initially, Janhavi was scared to open up to Meenakshi, but as the sessions went by, she realized that speaking openly with Meenakshi is the only way out.

Janhavi’s counseling sessions were filled with various techniques. Meenakshi suggested that Janhavi should write her thoughts down. As a result, Janhavi was able to develop a two-way perspective about her strengths and weaknesses. Nonetheless, a change never comes easy. Often Janhavi would find herself falling back into the loop, but unlike previously, she wasn’t alone.

“I used to practice all the things that the counselor asked me to do. But unlike previously, if anything went wrong, I do it all over again.”

Janhavi was soon finding herself in a better position than earlier. She started to live again instead of sleeping endlessly, where she was indulging back into activities. This was followed by the utilization of time more productively. Her fear of not being able to express herself was real but so was her will to get rid of them. This was more than enough to make a difference in her life.  

“Counseling by Meenakshi really helped me a lot during the times I thought I was not doing enough. It truly is YourDOST!”

Now, Janhavi is known to be in a very positively altered spot in her life where she appreciates Meenakshi for standing calmly next to her even in moments of despair.

Towards the end of YourDOST’s discussion with Janhavi, she mentioned that “If I were old Janhavi, I wouldn’t have been able to share my journey, but now I am taking pride in it.” – Today, Jahanvi acknowledges how far she has come. As a part of a fun rapid-fire round with YourDOST, Janhavi rated herself a 3 out of 5 in terms of getting better.

Though Janhavi feels she still has many things to improve in herself, for us, she has already grown a lot and will continue to do so!

Janhavi’s Warrior Tips:
1. You should not let fear take over. Whenever you feel something is not right, go seek counseling.
2. You don’t have to overthink about what you’ll say before booking an appointment with a counselor, just book it and the process flows.

Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.