“Pay Attention to Your Mind” – Nikhil’s Unique Approach of Tackling Heartbreak

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong, instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” – Denis Waitley.

21-year-old Nikhil is the true exemplar of this quote. The way Nikhil has decided to work on himself by working towards the betterment of his mental health is highly appreciable. But, let’s take a step back and take a dive into Nikhil’s life. A photographer and a swimmer by hobby and a video editor by profession, Nikhil has always known his strength and found his career in the job he truly is passionate about. 

Born and brought up in Gujarat, Nikhil studied Computer Science at Parul University, Vadodara. While in his third year, Nikhil started his first relationship with his then-girlfriend. The beginning of Nikhil’s relationship was something out of a fairytale until he found out the Covid-19 pandemic had caused the nationwide lockdown and college had to be shut.

“Not a week into my relationship, the lockdown was announced and we had to stop coming to the college. I was not prepared for the long-distance relationship at that point.”

Nikhil was new to the dynamics of a relationship and was certainly not prepared for the long distance. The long-distance relationship was getting hard for Nikhil, and eventually, that led up to his breakup. Nikhil was stressed, finding ways to deal with the ongoing emotions and so he decided to work on himself for his betterment.

“After a breakup guys usually only focus on physical appearance by working out and going to the gym but they rarely pay attention to what’s going on in their mind.”

Nikhil was adamant to work on himself and understand what went wrong in the relationship. He wanted to address the issues which led up to the breakup and also wanted to identify his self-worth.

One of the reasons Nikhil prioritised work on himself, was the fact that he was aware of the importance of mental health. Nikhil mentioned that his girlfriend was traumatised from her past relationship and that had scarred her. Nikhil took her care while she was at her lowest and hence, he was determined to not repeat the same mistakes, rather work on his mental health.

After some months of their first breakup, Nikhil and his girlfriend rekindled their relationship, which unfortunately lasted only for twenty days. This time, the situation was even more delicate for Nikhil, as he realised how toxic the relationship had gotten. Constant fights and the silent treatment that followed Nikhil, he was now in desperate need of re-evaluating how he sees himself and which areas he needed to improve. He was certain of getting his routine and especially his sleep routine back on track, but there was one more area he wanted to improve – self-confidence!

“My confidence was at an all-time low and luckily, I found YourDOST through my college resources. As soon as I got the chance, I decided to reach out to them for counseling purposes.”

Nikhil got connected with Ms Nikita Agarwal, an expert from YourDOST and started his counseling journey. As soon as Nikhil started his sessions with Nikita, he cleared all the issues he was facing and was open to various techniques to adapt to make himself better.

Nikita suggested meditation to Nikhil for improving his sleep cycle and advised him to observe himself and his thought process throughout the day. To aid him with this, Nikita suggested to Nikhil an ABC thought sheet.

ABC is an acronym for Antecedents, Behavior, Consequences. It is used as a tool for the assessment and formulation of problem behaviours and is useful when the client wants to understand the ‘active ingredients for problem behaviour.

Nikhil was surprised to see the instant changes he was able to notice how many triggers a day he was getting. Nikhil also saw an improvement in terms of his confident behaviour in a room full of people, and he gives all the credit to the counseling sessions!

“Nikita told me I was carrying stress and anxiety in my muscles too. Thanks to the relaxation techniques suggested by her, I felt the improvement and decreased anxiety.”

During and after the breakup, Nikhil also complained about being too mindful of what other people were thinking about him and now that he was getting the support and guidance, he was regaining the lost self-esteem. Often, Nikhil finds himself on the dark side of the road where he concerns himself with other people’s thoughts, but now he can at least calm himself down whenever he need be. 

“I’m glad counseling made me realise I can talk to someone without the fear of being judged. It gave me the guidance I needed.”

For Nikhil, this entire counseling experience was surprising, to say the least! He rates himself 3.5 out of 5 stars in terms of getting better and says, “YourDOST has been like a hospital for my mind. It helped me untangle my knots of uncertainty.”

Nikhil’s Warrior Tips:
1. Prioritise your mental health, because if your mental health will be better, you too will reach a better place.

Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.