“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis
It was established through a study that infidelity and avoiding responsibility are the major factors responsible for a failed marriage. Now a proud mother of two adorable children, Jyothsna stepped into her married life with optimism and hope, but soon saw it fading away.
Being a software developer by profession, Jyothsna crossed all boundaries to try and meet a peaceful personal life along with her career. In addition to being a huge movie buff, Jyothsna also wants to experiment with her cooking skills in the near future!
Most women, once married, devote their entire life to their families. Jyothsna had been married for 7 years. But the marriage had changed colours as time passed by.
“I knew that my husband had a drinking habit, but I was assured that he will leave it after the wedding. This never got addressed after my marriage and I started having issues.”
As if this hadn’t troubled Jyothsna, she soon started noticing over-possessive behaviour from her husband. He started digging into her phone, invading her privacy and even demanding passwords of various social media accounts.
“I noticed my husband wanted an explanation for everything that involved me. I understand that we are married, but this was concerning for me.”
As time passed by, Jyothsna was being forbidden to talk to any other men even if they were her colleagues. However, she decided to gel along with her family and eventually left all social media platforms. But, trying to comfort her husband only brought her more sorrow. Some fights were such that Jyothsna was threatened with divorce and this continued till the conflicts turned violent.
“My husband created a situation where I was posed as characterless. He decided with whom I could speak and with all these fights arousing, he started drinking too much again.”
Soon, Jyothsna was confining her life to work, cooking and dozing off to sleep when her husband was reaching home by midnight or even later. Her days were filled with endless responsibilities as Jyothsna’s husband was avoiding all the family duties. This was the beginning of a failed marriage. Jyothsna was no longer emotionally connected to her husband and things were falling apart. The failed marriage took such a route that she was not even allowed financial freedom anymore.
“Once a friend asked for some money for an emergency. I was hesitant at first but had to lend some money as it was a serious case. It again ended up in a fight.”
Although fights were a frequent occurrence in their failed marriage, things turned very ugly when it was overpowered by violence. Jyothsna started facing physical abuse from her husband and so did her kids. After two to three years of this constant agony, Jyothna’s breakthrough point had reached which was triggered by a particular incident. There was a day when Jyothna’s husband got drunk in front of her mother in law.
“He beat me in front of his parents. I had lost my last hope.”
With the constant series of events bringing misery to her soul, it was time for Jyothsna to stand up against the tide. This was the time when the world was overshadowed by the great pandemic, Covid-19. As this amplified Jyothna’s thoughts towards a failed marriage, she decided to seek help. At that time, Jyothsna’s organisation was associated with YourDOST through which she met Reema.
“I already felt like a single parent. I had to take all the responsibilities and on top of that, I was also being accused of everything. I didn’t understand the point of bearing all these anymore.”
Jyothsna had to find a medium to channel out her frustration, anger and join hands to healing. Jyothsna started her counseling with Reema via chat sessions. Jyothsna describes Reema to be a very good listener whose first and foremost suggestion was to leave everyone behind and start afresh. Soon, Jyothsna was understanding how her husband was taking out all his frustration on the kids as well as her by being violent.
“I started seeing myself from a third-person perspective. I tried to introspect my sufferings.”
By the end of the process, Jyothsna was left behind with a good feeling. This time, she started impressing herself rather than impressing others. Jyothsna had started to appreciate her strength and existence.
The journey of Jyothsna from a failed marriage to an independent woman surely took a lot of years, but YourDOST feels highly proud of her courage to overcome such turmoil.
It definitely takes a lot of bravery and willpower to achieve this amount of control over one’s own life. Jyothsna also extends her sincere gratitude to her counselor Reema for standing by her in her tough times. YourDOST can clearly see her improvements and wish her a future full of happiness and success.
Jyothsna’s Warrior Tips:
1. If you’re going through a tough time, you’ll definitely go and share with someone. But the truth is that most people don’t care and the more you tell, there increase chances of being taken advantage of.
2. In LKG or UKG, if a kid faces an issue, he/ she goes to a teacher and solve it. Similarly, one should speak with a concerned professional when you have problems pertaining to your mental health. It will offer you an unbiased solution.
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