How to Overcome Mistrust and Insecurities in Relationship : Jha’s Story

Jha is a 22-year-old college student from IIT (BHU) whose long-distance relationship pushed him into seeking professional support. He started feeling insecure about not spending time with his girlfriend and started developing a sense of mistrust towards her. While he was going through these doubtful feelings, he never confronted his girlfriend about his issues. 

“I was concerned about my girlfriend spending more time with her male friends, I was always anxious that she would like them better than me. This insecurity made me lose trust in my girlfriend and the state of my mental health became problematic.” 

In the fear of being a possessive boyfriend, Jha suppressed all these feelings and never opened up about his troubles. This manifested into negative coping strategies where he got violent and started punching walls, began smoking excessively and had bursts of anger. 

“Things got worse when my girlfriend took a trip to Hyderabad with her male friend. I was locked up in my hostel during Sankranti and lost control of my emotions. I felt very aggressive and started having fights with my peers in college”

The last incident which triggered Jha to seek therapy was a drunk call he had with the male friend of his girlfriend. This behaviour was something unlike him and he knew at once that he had to confront his emotions and seek help.

“The conversation was harsh. I humiliated him and told him to stay away from my girlfriend. I was fighting with him like a child. This is when I realised that I was out of control. My concentration levels were dropping and I was not able to focus on my studies as well.”

This is when Jha discovered YourDOST. He was sure that this would help improve his well-being. 

“One of my friends was going through a tough struggle with his mental health and was seeking help for it as well. He recommended YourDOST to me when I was going through a rough patch in my relationship.”

He had observed the changes in his friend and seeing instances in movies also helped him believe in counselling. His therapist spoke to him about his trust issues and delved deeper into the importance of communication in a relationship.

“She helped me understand the importance of being independent in a relationship, how both of us have to make a 50% commitment into making the relationship work. I learnt various breathing techniques to help me with my anger and I joined the meditation group in college. I was working on myself and this helped me worry less about what my girlfriend was doing.”

After a few sessions, Jha understood the importance of setting boundaries in their relationship and working on his personal goals instead of spending time worrying about his girlfriend.

Jha’s self-control is back on track, his smoking habits have reduced and now he is on his journey to feel content with himself. 

Jha’s Warrior Tips:
1. Mind is a complex organ, hence taking care of it is important.

Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.