The dinner was turning into a nightmare, as my partner’s words echo in my ears, “Will you please make an effort to listen for once? You are not making any sense!”
I try to shut out his words by simultaneously talking, “You are always judging me! You are just like my father! You have no heart! It was a HUGE mistake trusting you! I don’t even know where the love that we first felt for each other is!”
He goes quiet. A look passes over his face, which I am unable to fathom. My heart starts hammering and I feel giddy as I try to not imagine the words he has not yet uttered. I feel breathless as he quietly gets up and walks away from the table, making me want to stab myself.
Years have passed, as I argue with my father, showing him how wrong he has been to my mother. His face screws up in pain as he feels the words stinging him. I turn away. Good for him. I tell my mother how illogical and irrational she becomes when it comes to dealing with family issues. She cries injustice and stops speaking to me. I sigh and decide that maybe I will try and fix this some other time.
It’s late in the night or early morning, I am not sure, but I can hear an argument erupting in the living room. The same words make their way into my ears, as I hear sobs. And a shrill piercing voice of my mother. I hear my father say something utterly outrageous as I hide under my blanket, hoping to sleep this same routine, away.
Image Source: www.huffingtonpost.com
Years have passed, as I argue with my father, showing him how wrong he has been to my mother. His face screws up in pain as he feels the words stinging him. I turn away. Good for him. I tell my mother how illogical and irrational she becomes when it comes to dealing with family issues. She cries injustice and stops speaking to me. I sigh and decide that may be I will try and fix this some other time.
Who knew, that eventually it would be me who would need fixing?
I can say from my personal experience that growing up in a hostile environment can wreak havoc on your personality as an adult. Those issues of rejection and abandonment, along with a lack of trust make grounds for the same behaviour that one may adopt as an adult once it comes to getting into a relationship of intimacy.
We are bleak and destroy our own life by imagining worst scenarios and then proactively behaving so as to avoid those things that may never happen. Here’s a small list as to what happens when we are a child brought up by fighting parents:
- Lack of confidence and trust – because if my parents themselves aren’t sure of their togetherness, and their relationship, how will I know if I am? Maybe if I do something on my own, it would turn out to be a disaster. I am not good, and I am not sure if anyone can help me.
- Emotional deprivation – If I don’t cry, I will appear stronger. I can deal with my problems on my own. My parents are anyway troubled, why must I bother them. They would again start arguing that my issues are because of them. Maybe they are.
- Need for approval and validation – Since my parents don’t think I am good enough, maybe she/he can tell me that I am not that bad. But do they really care about me? Maybe if I help them/appreciate them, they would see that I am a good person.
- Inability to let people come closer – Oh no! He said he loves me. He cannot love me. I will only make his life miserable. He deserves someone who will make him happy and does not fight with him. I will only fight with him, and hurt him. I must tell him that I am happy on my own and do not need his approval.
Image Source: www.pinterest.com/
These are only a few broad effects that may manifest themselves on someone who has gone through this trauma. There are many many more painful personality ailments that can be cured only with patience and love. And making choices that clearly demarcate that fact that we are not our parents and we have a shot at life. We deserve to be happy. And only we can do so by allowing ourselves to understand that none of that was our fault.
Today is a new day and we can make an effort for a better tomorrow.
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마종 웨이즈 2
오대호 지역은 세계에서 가장 큰 담수호 그룹입니다.
thebuzzerpodcast.com
그래서… 모든 가족이 접대에 수많은 노력을 기울여야 했습니다.
Sweet Bonanza Xmas
この記事は非常に有益でした。感謝します!
k8 カジノ イラスト
毎回読むたびに新しいことを学べる、素晴らしいブログです。
geinoutime.com
입이 떡 벌어지는 비상 보고서가 신속하게 수도로 전송되었습니다.
k8 カジノ 初回入金ボーナス
非常に興味深く読ませていただきました。素敵な内容です!
geinoutime.com
이 순간 그들은… 그들이 적을 경솔하게 과소평가했다는 것을 깨달았습니다.
k8 カジノ 月替わりボーナス
素敵な記事をありがとうございます。心から感謝しています。
geinoutime.com
이번 원조가 이 정도일 줄은 전혀 예상하지 못했다.
k8 ビンゴ
興味深いトピックと素晴らしい分析で、大変勉強になりました。
geinoutime.com
Deng Jian은 이것을 들었을 때 에너지가 넘쳤습니다. “주인님, 심부름이 무엇입니까?”
usareallservice.com
驚くほど詳細な分析で、非常に役立ちました。ありがとうございます!
werankcities.com
그들은 모두 바지를 걷어붙였기 때문에 순종적으로 물속을 걸어야 했습니다.
fpparisshop.com
この記事は本当に役に立ちます。大変感謝しています。
qiyezp.com
잘못 들은 탕인은 놀라 눈을 들어 팡지판을 믿을 수 없다는 듯이 바라보았다.
usareallservice.com
このトピックにこんなに深く掘り下げる記事は他にないと思います。素晴らしいです!
sandyterrace.com
Zhang Mao는 갑자기 다시 말했습니다. “폐하가 갑자기 Zhongdu에 오신 이유는 무엇입니까?”
toasterovensplus.com
素晴らしい記事!いつも新鮮な視点をありがとう。
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