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PersonalAdvice

I Am 20 And I Don't Have A Boyfriend

2 Mins read
The first time I listened to Arijit Singh’s Hamari Adhuri Kahaani,it reminded me of the very distance created in the lives of two classmates in college. Paas aaye.. dooriyaan phir bhi kam, na hooyi.. Eight months back,whenever she walked into the class,he had the widest smile on his face… his eyes traveling with her as she walked down the classroom. There was this beautiful phase of being in love where they just couldn’t sit separately from each other for even a period. Fast forward 8 months and they pass by each other like total strangers. Where a word spoken by one,is pretended to be unheard by the other.

Those typical college romances that Bollywood and Hollywood movies glorify, where friendship blossoms into love and love ends up in marriage. Sounds like a fantasy too good to be true, doesn’t it? There are certain cases where it might end up to be as magical as this. But is it really worth searching for love in college, to experience the emotions and feelings that the protagonist of your favourite rom com felt? Is it really worth your time,individual space and efforts to get into a relationship as your friends have gotten into one?



My classmates lost not only their relationship but also their friendship during the course of time. Its very difficult to go back to being friends without undergoing “awkward moments”. So, the ‘ignorance is bliss’ mantra was used by either of them to continue with their daily lives. Life is too short to worry about relationships and better halves when you know that college life will be experienced by an individual only once in a life time. Get together and hangouts with friends wont seem as real and lively when there is this constant nag at the back of your head, to text your ‘significant other’. There may be high possibility of difficulty to concentrate in class as there is a constant reminder of a conflict with your better half the previous night.

Getting involved in relationships due to peer pressure is the worst decision a person can make. If your friend chooses to be in a relationship and spends time with her boyfriend, there is no compulsion for you to find yourself a mate. You should be proud of the fact that you are independent and not restricted to being available for a single person when you are in college. The freedom and independence you experience when you are single, is like a breath of fresh air.

There is no absolute guarantee that your current boyfriend or girlfriend in college would end up being your spouse in the future. Unfortunately there is no premium you can pay to ’insure’ this. So keeping this in mind, the memories you make with friends no matter how crazy they are, will always be cherished and stay permanent in your minds in the years to come. And probably the memories you make with your current boyfriend or girlfriend might end up being one you want to forget,as the word “current” will get replaced with “ex”.

With friends who stay by you in thick and thin and who never give up on you no matter what, there is no necessity to have a third person to be your “humdard”. Strength, independence, happiness, satisfaction should be felt from within, without any external  influence. You DON’T need a boyfriend or a girlfriend to stay happy and satisfied in your life. Your happiness is your choice. Never put the key to your happiness in anyone else’s pocket.

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YourDOST is an Online Emotional Wellness Coach. Through YourDOST anyone can Sign Up and anonymously seek advice and guidance from Counsellors, Psychologists, Special Friends, Mentors and other experienced individuals.
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