Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix anything or to do anything in particular, but to just let us feel that we are cared for and supported.
Reena was diagnosed with Breast cancer; at this young age, it not only shattered her but also left her worried about how she should tell it to her husband as it had been just 18 months since marriage. She gathered her courage and approached her husband with reports saying it’s positive and the doctor had called them both for discussing treatment.
Ashish was shattered, he did not know how to react, tears rolled down his eyes and he hugged Reena tightly. Reena and Ashish had an arranged marriage and were in deep love with each other. Ashish was a quiet person while Reena was a chirpy woman.
Ashish, after looking at the reports hugged Reena and swore not to let anything happen to her. They both went to the doctor and were suggested lumpectomy where she won’t completely lose the organ but just a part of it. This was a sigh of relief for Reena but she knew there is much more coming her way – loss of hair, loss of charm, etc.
Reena’s treatment started in full swing and this, as expected, affected her physical appearance adversely. She lost her hair and her energy was no longer the same. Reena at time’s shuddered to look at herself in the mirror. She hated to meet eyes with Ashish, as she feared of losing him. Worst was when she made up her mind that, Ashish should move on as he deserved someone more “beautiful” than her. She persuaded Ashish to move on while he simply rejected the idea and replied,
“I did not love you for your hair or beauty. I loved the person you are and not these body parts. Cancer was not your choice. Your beauty lies in your heart and you are still very beautiful Reena. Just look at yourself from my eyes.”
This only made Reena fall more for Ashish and his love.
It’s been a year since she was diagnosed with cancer but her confidence remains the same. Many asked her about what kept her going even in such a rough phase. Her only reply was to credit Ashish, for it was he who stood by her and made her love herself. He made her believe in herself and gave her the confidence to accept her body.
We never realize how support from the closest person can boost our confidence. When we fall into a pit of self-hatred and self-doubt, a simple act of love or support from the spouse or partner can make us feel confident and that makes this bond even the more special.
My experience in this field made me realize that the body image issues one goes through can be handled by a supportive partner who looks at us beyond our bodies. NO BODY is perfect and when you accept that for yourself you will accept others too. You can’t change the imperfections but can love the perfection in your partner. Love your partner for their soul and not for the body because a body without a soul is a life without breath. Help your partner to deal with it, overcome with this complex instead of making him or her feel worse as a spouse your words and support mean the most to them if you can see the beauty in him/her then they don’t care about what the world thinks.