Staying unaware of what exactly you are feeling can leave you confused and unsure about yourself. 24-year-old Shagun Bhardwaj shares her story about how she was stressed and confused about her career and her bond with her family. Shagun used to work in a firm as a digital marketer. She found it extremely stressful and she did not have time for herself most days. Things got worse for Shagun during the lockdown as she had to work from home and most days there was no work-life balance. Every day she felt like she had work piling up. She did not have enough time to do other things like eating her breakfast or lunch or dinner in peace and engage herself in activities that she likes to do. Above all of this, she had issues in her family.
I had issues with my dad since we were a different kind of people.
It is normal for most families to have conflicts but when there is constant misunderstanding and differences it can be a little difficult to get along. Shagun had issues with her father. As they had different opinions most of the time they got into arguments more often. It was not just her father that she had issues with but also with her relatives.
“I had a lot of confusion regarding my career selection.”
Though she was a digital marketer she also had a passion for singing and she wanted to do more in the music field. But due to lack of time, she couldn’t put much effort into her passion and she also felt that moving into the music field can be risky as the future is uncertain.
During the lockdown, Shagun realised that she wanted to understand what she felt and why she felt in a particular way. That is when she reached out to the counselor Mamtha Harish from YourDOST. Mamtha asked Shagun to write down a priority list where she was asked to put down the seven most important things in her life. This technique helped her realise what she needed to focus on at one time, which eventually gave her better clarity.
I was holding a lot of resentment towards my family members.
Mamtha asked her to write a letter to the family members that she has issues with and in the letter she was asked to write down what she felt towards them and how they made her feel. After writing she was asked to tear the letter and throw it away. This method helped her let go off the feelings that she was holding back. Mamtha made her realise that everyone has two sides, which were the emotional side and the practical side. But most times we tend to lean towards only one side. She began to understand how to balance both sides. Balancing these sides will help us be in our reality. She was also asked to journal her emotions each day to keep track of her emotions.
Shagun began to prioritise better. She left the job and took self-employment and started having her own clients. She felt more confident about her decisions. By practising all the techniques, she was slowly able to mend her relationship with her family and she was also able to understand her emotions better.
She helped me see the better side of me.
Shagun is extremely glad that she sought help from Mamtha as she helped her be the better version of herself and let go of all the toxic feelings that were building up inside. The thing that she most appreciated about Mamtha was that she was very understanding and patiently listened to her. She never interrupted her when she was sharing her concerns and she had the freedom to talk about anything.
Shagun wants everyone to seek therapy if they are feeling low. “Everyone feels various emotions and feelings.” It is absolutely natural to feel various types of emotions and when you are confused about what you are feeling you can always seek support from a professional. Shagun wants everyone to know that it is okay to feel lost.
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Shagun’s Warrior Tips:
1. It is okay to feel confused but you need to take the step to help yourself get some clarity.
2. Don’t be afraid to open up about what you feel. It helps in taking off a lot of burden from your chest.