Can’t Boys & Girls Be “Just Friends”?

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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, so why can’t they be “just friends”? Let’s look into that a bit deeper. When it comes to the question of whether or not guys and girls can be just friends there is no universal truth. In some cases, guys and girls can be the best of friends but in other cases any truly platonic relationship is virtually impossible.

Whether or not a guy and a girl can be just friends depends on how the friendship started, on whether or not there is a physical attraction involved, and on the personalities of the individuals. There really is no good reason why members of the opposite sex can’t have important and close friendships with one another.

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Yes, we are hardwired to get attracted to opposite gender, we don’t need any article from XYZ scientific journal of developed country to confirm this. But we are evolved right? Whether or not that lust stifles a budding friendship or destroys an existing one is entirely dependent on the person having the feelings. Guys and girls can be friends if they really want to be friends. It only gets complicated if there is physical attraction involved that is not handled properly.

Inspired from India’s “best-selling author” Chetan Bhagat’s quote from 2 states I have to say “Friendship around world has only one obstacle: Physical attraction. In India we have a lot more: Parents, Relatives, Char log, every other guy on road who stares at us and finally those Bajrangdal Boys who wants every Young guy & girl to get married”. Here they have to explain everyone why they don’t want to get married. Bollywood Movies in this regard has done more harm than good. From Kuch Kuch hota hai to Student of the year, no one ever showed that boys and girls can just be friends.

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Well then, what is the proper way of dealing with a physical attraction to a friend? You have to be up front about things. Honesty is the key. If you feel an attraction to a friend you have to let them know and be prepared for a reaction you won’t like. If the feelings are returned that’s great, but if they are not you need to put the friendship first. You must be prepared to work through your feelings and make friendship a priority over your broken dreams of romance.

If you are the person being admired, you must be prepared to be honest about your feelings in return. If you feel an attraction as well, don’t be afraid to admit it. If you are not interested be kind in your rejection. Make it clear if you only want to be friends and show that you mean it by sticking by your friendship through the difficult post-declaration adjustment period.
 

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So, some simple rules to make a guy-girl friendship a success goes like this:

1. Don’t ever cross the line of friendship without realizing it may be a point of no return
2. If you know your friend has feelings for you never take advantage of those feelings
3. Never give in to physical attractions without knowing that it could change the friendship forever
4. Know that there will always be people who scoff at the validity of guy-girl friendships